Being an active bystander includes standing up to sexist & violent language and actions, as well as safely intervening in situations to prevent sexual and relationship violence.
When you witness an emergency, criminal activity or situation that can lead to harm, you are considered a bystander. By your presence, you have the opportunity to provide assistance, do nothing, or contribute to the negative behavior.
You intervene in ways that impact ‘the event’ and its outcome positively. You take some action, but are mindful of caring for yourself, as well as the impact on the other person.
Steps on becoming an active bystander include:
- Notice the situation: Be aware of your surroundings.
- Interpret it as a problem: Do I recognize that someone needs help?
- Feel responsible to act: See yourself as being part of the solution to help.
- Know what to do: Educate yourself on options for what to do.
- Intervene safely: Take action but be sure to keep yourself safe.
- Tell another person. Being with others is a good idea when a situation looks dangerous.
- Ask a someone if they are okay. Provide options and a listening ear.
- Ask the person if they want to leave. Make sure that they get home safely.
- Call the police.
- Call the Department of Public Safety at (619) 260-2222 for support and options.
Risk reduction strategies can be helpful in understanding the context of violence, but are never meant to attribute blame to victims for their behavior, decisions, or judgments. The perpetrator of abuse and violence is always the one responsible. These are strategies to assist with reducing risk, safety planning and recognizing abusive behaviors as harmful.
The adapted list below comes from RAINN, the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization:
- Know your resources. Who should you contact if you or a friend needs help? Where should you go? Locate resources such as the campus health center, campus police station, and a local sexual assault service provider. Notice where emergency phones are located on campus, and program the campus security number into your cell phone for easy access.
- Stay alert. When you’re moving around on campus or in the surrounding neighborhood, be aware of your surroundings. Consider inviting a friend to join you or asking campus security for an escort. If you’re alone, only use headphones in one ear to stay aware of your surroundings.
- Be secure. Lock your door and windows when you’re asleep and when you leave the room. If people constantly prop open the main door to the dorm or apartment, tell security or a trusted authority figure.
- Make others earn your trust. A college environment can foster a false sense of security. They may feel like fast friends, but give people time earn your trust before relying on them.
- Make a plan. If you’re going to a party, go with people you trust. Agree to watch out for each other and plan to leave together. If your plans change, make sure to touch base with the other people in your group. Don’t leave someone stranded in an unfamiliar or unsafe situation.
- Protect your drink. Don’t leave your drink unattended, and watch out for your friends’ drinks if you can. If you go to the bathroom or step outside, take the drink with you or toss it out.
- It’s okay to lie. If you want to exit a situation immediately and are concerned about frightening or upsetting someone, it’s okay to lie. You are never obligated to remain in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, pressured, or threatened. You can also lie to help a friend leave a situation that you think may be dangerous. Some excuses you could use are needing to take care of another friend or family member, an urgent phone call, not feeling well, and having to be somewhere else by a certain time.
- Be a good friend. Trust your instincts. If you notice something that doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
- For more information: visit RAINN’s website.