Loving Someone Means…
Each person…
- Listens to the other person and his/her ideas
- Considers the other’s needs
- Exchanges physical attention consistent with the relationship
- Lets the other be first sometimes
- Takes care of him/her self
- Feels comfortable
- Wishes to be with the other person
- Feels valued in the relationship
- Values the differences between them
- Ten Characteristics of a Good Relationship
TRUST
- Partners are able to confide in each other openly knowing their confidences will be respected.
TOGETHERNESS
- In a healthy relationship, two people create a sense of both intimacy and autonomy. They enjoy each other’s company, but also pursue solitary interests.
EXPRESSIVENESS
- Partners in a healthy relationship say what they feel, need, and desire in an assertive, rather than aggressive or blaming manner.
STAYING POWER
- Couples in a committed relationship keep their bond strong through tough times by being there for each other.
SECURITY
- Because a good relationship is strong enough to absorb conflict and anger, partners know they can express their feelings honestly.
LAUGHTER
- Humor keeps things in perspective.
SUPPORT
- Partners in a good relationship continually offer each other encouragement, comfort, and acceptance.
PHYSICAL AFFECTION
- Sexual desire may fluctuate or diminish over time, but partners in loving, long-term relationships retain some physical connections.
PERSONAL GROWTH
- In the best relationships, partners are committed to bringing out the best in each other and have the other’s best interests at heart.
RESPECT
- Caring partners are aware of each other’s boundaries, need for personal space, and vulnerabilities. They do not take each other, or the relationship, for granted.
From Our Sexuality, Crooks & Baur, 9th edition, Wadsworth, 2005, Chapter 7 “Love & the Development of Sexual Relationships” p. 168.
