It’s important for all roommates to talk about expectations and set some guidelines for living in the same room or suite.  Along with discussing sleep schedules, noise preferences, and other factors related to getting along as roommates, it is very important to talk about where you stand on alcohol & other drugs. 

Questions & points for discussion:

• Do you drink alcohol, and if so, how often?
• Will alcohol or other drugs be kept in the room?
• Will alcohol or other drugs be consumed in the room (how many people will be allowed in the room)?
• What behavior is acceptable/unacceptable? (i.e. getting back to the room late, behavior under the influence, etc.)   
• If one of you does not drink, it may be helpful to mention why, if comfortable sharing (i.e., moral reasons, recovery, family history, etc.)

 

The bottom line is that alcohol is illegal for underage students, drugs are illegal, and both are against school policy.  If a roommate chooses to break the law and school policy, it is important for him/her to consider and respect the roommate(s) who abide by the rules and not put them in a situation in which they may get into trouble with residential life, suffer consequences, or be disturbed.  If your roommate is breaking the rules and putting you at risk, you should first talk to your roommate and encourage him/her to refrain from the illegal behaviors.  If your roommate does not listen or comply, you may want to talk to your RA or RD.  Keep in mind, it is not your responsibility to make your roommate change, but you do have a right to be comfortable and feel safe in your own room.

 

Talking hints:

Talk about these issues when you first meet or begin to live together.  You may need to re-address issues as you go or revise your rules.  If there are any problems or conflicts, it is generally important to address them as they come up, rather than neglect them or let them worsen.

 

Use statements that begin with "I" or “me”.  Some examples are: "I get worried when you pass out in the room after drinking," “it disturbs me when you drink in the room while I’m studying,” or “I am uncomfortable having marijuana kept in the room”.  Taking responsibility for your statements is usually received better than being accusatory.  It is also helpful to name specific behaviors or things that are bothering you rather than venting your emotions without real explanation.

In any event, put yourself in your roommate's shoes, treating him/her as you would like to be treated.