Healthy Relationship Factors
Loving Someone Means…
Listens to the other person and his/her ideas
Considers the other’s needs
Exchanges physical attention consistent with the relationship
Lets the other be first sometimes
Takes care of him/her self
Feels comfortable
Wishes to be with the other person
Feels valued in the relationship
Values the differences between them
Ten Characteristics of a Good Relationship
TRUST: Partners are able to confide in each other openly knowing their confidences will be respected.
TOGETHERNESS: In a healthy relationship, two people create a sense of both intimacy and autonomy. They enjoy each other’s company, but also pursue solitary interests.
EXPRESSIVENESS: Partners in a healthy relationship say what they feel, need, and desire in an assertive, rather than aggressive or blaming manner.
STAYING POWER: Couples in a committed relationship keep their bond strong through tough times by being there for each other.
SECURITY: Because a good relationship is strong enough to absorb conflict and anger, partners know they can express their feelings honestly.
LAUGHTER: Humor keeps things in perspective.
SUPPORT: Partners in a good relationship continually offer each other encouragement, comfort, and acceptance.
PHYSICAL AFFECTION: Sexual desire may fluctuate or diminish over time, but partners in loving, long-term relationships retain some physical connections.
PERSONAL GROWTH: In the best relationships, partners are committed to bringing out the best in each other and have the other’s best interests at heart.
RESPECT: Caring partners are aware of each other’s boundaries, need for personal space, and vulnerabilities. They do not take each other, or the relationship, for granted.
From Our Sexuality, Crooks & Baur, 9th edition, Wadsworth, 2005, Chapter 7 “Love & the Development of Sexual Relationships” p. 168
Remember healthy relationships allow for individuality, bring out the best in both people, and invite personal growth!