Restoring Respect

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About Civility in Society

Statements, quotes, references, and articles about civility.

Civility

ci-vi-li-ty noun \sə-ˈvi-lə-tē\   plural ci·vil·i·ties
a : civilized conduct; especially : courtesy, politeness
b : a polite act or expression

What is Civility?

Civility, which comes to us from the Latin word for citizen, includes not only the notions of courtesy and politeness, but also such matters as social relationships and proper conduct in human relationships. For some, civility is the essential glue that holds society together, and it involves such important issues as friendship, altruism, responsibility, dignity, and justice.

Aristotle saw civility as a form of friendship, which he understood as a mutual feeling of good will. Aristotle believed that humans are capable of promoting another persons interest without regard for our own, and he ranked friendships according to their degree of intimacy and commitment. Character friendship may be purely selfless; advantage friendship is a mixture of self-interest with perhaps some altruism, and this is the basis of civil interaction.

By contrast, Thomas Hobbes believed that humans are incapable of sympathy with the interests of others; he said that we are ultimately motivated by self-interest in all of our acts. But recent experiments and
theoretical developments have supported the view of David Hume, who believed that humans are naturally sympathetic, with our benevolence (or willingness to act selflessly) guided by such things as reason and
custom.

Amid many wrenching claims that todays society is marked by lawlessness and a collapse of moral values, its important to reduce sweeping historical generalizations to specific comparisons of time and place. Colonial America, for example, was viewed in retrospect as a coarse age by the more proper nineteenth-century Americans yet these same nineteenth-century Americans exhibited a great deal of intolerance, and they experienced lawlessness especially in mob violence (e.g. lynchings). In general, specific historical comparison, makes it clear that lawlessness, intolerance, and standards of decorum tend to fluctuate in complex and interdependent ways.

Modern American society is marked by a high degree of mobility, a decline in voluntary civic activities, and an emphasis on rights (i.e. what others owe me). The result is rootlessness and detachment from family and friends. Higher crime rates, chiefly among youth, show a strong statistical correlation with lack of self-control. And moral disputes are often marked by dogmatism, the inability or unwillingness to see the moral force behind another point of view. In response, the possibilities for improvement include (1) reinvigorating our civic associations, (2) developing and inculcating self-control, and (3) demanding higher levels of mutual respect and tolerance in the way we speak to and treat one another.
(From Civility and Community by Brian Schrag)

Quotes About Civility

“All of civility depends on being able to contain the rage of individuals.” – Joshua Ledergerg

“Civility costs nothing, and buys everything.”  
Mary Wortley Montagu

“Civility is perhaps a quaint notion but civility in Parliament is something we should always strive to uphold.”  Jay Weatherill

“Teaching civility is an obligation of the family.”  Stephen Carter

“We cannot do democracy without a heavy dose of civility.”  Mike Pence

“The future of civility in America needn't be dismal. It isn't true that nice guys finish last.”   P.M. Forni

So let us begin anew - remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof.”  John F. Kennedy

Read About Civility

Incivility in the Media