Several students have talked about « chaotic love » in their papers.

Let me try to explain why the notion of chaos in matters of love is tricky, and why I do not agree with the use of the expression “chaotic love.”.

The notion of chaos we talked about in class refers to the potentially harmful effect love can have on established social order.  Married characters having an affair are upsetting the social order and therefore cause chaos.

All societies try to control love through social institutions such as marriage BECAUSE love threatens social order.  People in love are driven by needs quite different from the needs of orderly social contexts.  There is CONFLICT between the needs of lovers and the needs of societies.  When love triumphs in this conflict, the social order surrounding the lovers is thrown into chaos.  THAT is the point being made in this class.  It is essentially a sociological, not a psychological point.

There is, of course, a psychological point.  PERSONAL feelings of love often involve confusion, longing, curiosity, fear, anguish, ecstasy, etc.  Being "in love" can feel chaotic to the individual and indeed many regard it as an altered state or even as a form of temporary insanity.  Being in love can be scary, but under ideal circumstances (ie: being AWAY from the controlling social order) it does not feel chaotic to the lovers.  Tristan and Iseult in one of the early Celtic variants of the tale ran away to Scotland and were blissfully happy in their love (no chaos for them!) UNTIL he is lured back to Cornwall (the social order in which their love has wreaked havoc), she doesn't want to go but follows him when he insists, and blam - the end of their happiness.  The "chaos" referenced in class is not the normal altered state of being in love, which is psychological, occurs within individuals and under ideal circumstances is blissfully pleasant.  It is rather the interaction between the power of love and the power of social control.  The "chaos" referenced is experienced by society, not necessarily by the lovers EXCEPT when they allow society to intrude on their love as Adolphe does.

The inner turmoil one may feel when a love relationship is problematic or causes pain is not considered chaos and does not make love “chaotic.”