Wednesday of the First Week
I struggle with trusting God. I struggle with believing with all certainty that God’s holding me in the very palm of His hands amidst the aches of this life. I struggle with trusting that the very God of the universe could have possibly called me in all my unworthiness to follow Him more intimately.
“At once they left their nets and followed him. [...] He called them, and immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him.”
The first four Apostles, Andrew, Peter, James, and John, experienced the magnanimous, indescribably beautiful, and life-giving presence of Jesus. They trusted with heroic faith and followed Jesus unreservedly. He called them, and they dropped everything to follow Him. He called them, and they relinquished their control over their own lives to serve God.
When we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, when we can’t see what post-graduation, next semester, or even tomorrow may bring, we may struggle in the unknowing to trust God, to relinquish our control. When we can’t seem to understand the death of a family member, to accept misunderstanding with grace, to wait for our prayers to be answered, we continue in this hesitation to trust God wholeheartedly.
Yet as we enter into this reality of our lives, we realize that, as one of my favorite authors once wrote, God truly calls us to a life of abandon, whimsy, and love. That means we are called to be so unabashed in our trust in God that all other hesitations, worries, and anxiety are placed in God’s hands. Jesus called Andrew, Peter, James, and John, and He calls us too to come and follow Him with abandon, whimsy, and love.
“How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news!”
As we enter into this Advent season of waiting and preparation for our Savior to be born, it is my deepest prayer that we chase relentlessly after God’s heart. Let us not grow weary in the waiting and unknowing; rather, let us run into God’s arms of unceasing love, peace, and grace. Let us prepare our hearts and, in doing so, trust in the way of the Lord. As St. Paul reminds us in his letter to the Romans, let our hands and feet, arms and mouths preach the good news at all times.
-Gianna Caravetta '17